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Brian's Inferno

Tuesday, December 20, 2005 04:40 AM

Steven Corfe writes:

Last Wednesday I attended the premiere of Fun with Dick & Jane. While the movie is far from the laugh-a-minute pratfall comedy the trailer promises, the screaming laughter as the movie started almost fooled me into thinking it was going to be quite funny. It wasn’t until a few minutes in that I noticed the laughter was erupting from a central hub and spreading outwards, gradually fading to a half-assed nasal snort by the time it reached my outer aisle seat. And that’s when I realized I was witness to a carefully executed structure of audience response, otherwise known as The Brian Grazer Concentric Laughter Ripple Effect.

THE EPICENTER: In the center of the ripple effect sat Brian Grazer, and in the center of all that spiky hair sat Brian Grazer’s brain, geared to assess which of the movie’s funny bits would elicit a laugh from the assembled crowd. He needn’t have bothered though, for surrounding him were...

THE INNER CIRCLE: Composed of Columbia Pictures and Imagine Entertainment executives, the inner circle knows which side its collective bread is buttered on. Sat just within earshot, but just out of biting range of Grazer, they are conditioned to exhibit a response akin to a shrieking hyena with every minor visual stimuli. Like Pavlov’s hungry dogs salivating over tinkling bells, the execs howl with laughter every time Jim Carrey falls into a flowerbed / falls out of a moving vehicle / does that wide-mouthed eye-rolling thing.

THE OUTER CIRCLE: Moving gradually outwards, the next ring out was made up of underprivileged school kids from the Watts district. Undoubtedly bussed in to create a slice of target audience authenticity, the kids were indeed for the most part amused, and provided their contractual laugh track. Others however seemed perplexed by the distracting sound of Grazer flattery that was sounding off around them like air rifles.

THE OUTER OUTER EDGE: Those of us in the assigned seating plan’s equivalent of Siberia didn’t seem to fit into the structure of The Concentric Laughter Ripple Effect. Just as well, as the majority of the humor was lost on us. Or perhaps even we unknowingly played a part, as the tinny shrieks of executive laughter echoed off our numb empty skulls and hollow eye sockets, reverberating back to Grazer in the center.

Put quite simply, See Spot Run. Hear Executive Vice President of Business Affairs Roar.

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Brian's Inferno

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