A JSJ Investigative Report: Louis Tomlinson, Everybody’s B*tch

Much like a woman will flick an imaginary speck of lint off her man’s lapel in the presence of other women to signal that HE belongs to HER – BACK OFF – so I imagine all the proprietary fussing over Louis Tomlinson by his bandmates suggests that each boy is marking their territory. I like to think that Louis is their little fuck-toy, their surrogate girlfriend on the road, that he gets passed around from bunk to bunk to bunk, and all this covert touching and secret caressing is their way of telegraphing that fact to us.

Note what’s happening in that first series of gifs, as Niall surreptitiously touches Louis’ hand and lets it linger for a second or two, only to be rebuffed. The look on Louis’ face tells it all. Some serious shit has gone down between these two. They have a history, and I don’t think it ended well. Compare it with the playful poking in the second series of gifs between Louis and Liam. Really look at what’s happening in each frame: The touch, the rub, the tickle. What I see here is a warm, post-coital familiarity that suggests they might just have something special going on between them.

And that last gif, well, that just sums up Louis in a nutshell, doesn’t it? “LOOK AT ME! I’M THE LUCKIEST BOY IN THE WORLD!”