Posted by: James St. James contact

Thoughts from the Kids' Choice red carpet

Willow Smith is just a little girl and I will not pick on her any more; Miranda Cosgrove is just a little girl and I will not be annoyed with her scarlet lipstick, fuchsia dress, and black pumps; Selena Gomez is just a little girl – omg I had no idea she was such a little, tiny girl – and I don't think little girls should have access to Camilla Skovgaard turquoise T-strap buckle sandals goddamnit; Taylor Momsen is just a very sad and angry teenager and that's perfectly normal. Wizards of Waverly star Gregg Sulkin is growing up nicely; Justin Bieber wannabe Cody Simpson still looks like he needs to be punched, but he's just a little boy and I'm not going to be the one to do it; I have no idea who Gage Golightly is, but she sounds like a drag queen and totally looks like a party girl, so I think I like her; I also have no idea who Matt Shively is but he's wearing an extremely gay jacket and t-shirt combo and I wonder if needs to fire the Nickelodeon stylist who dressed him, because it's sending me very mixed signals and that is wrong because he's just a boy. 

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