Natalie Portman in an absolutely atrocious Lanvin dress at last night's New York City Ballet premiere. And you know what? I'm not even going to dignify this picture with a rant. There's just too much horror here to contemplate. I mean: Where would we even start? After we finished deconstructing the dress (which seems to have done a good job of THAT all on its own), do we discuss the limp, just-hopped-out-of-the-shower hair? The WTF black purse? The Forever 21 belt? OMG, NO. NO. NO. I'm not going to do it. I am just so angry right now. Well, I'm not so much ANGRY, as DISAPPOINTED. And HURT. I expected better from you, young lady! You let me down. You let us ALL down. Now go to your room and THINK about what you wore. And I don't want to see you down here again until you are good and sorry for what you've done.