Posted by: James St. James contact

Why Wolfman is destined to fail

After watching the trailer for the upcoming Wolfman, I can only conclude one thing: Benicio del Toro is no Taylor Lautner. And if Universal wanted to capitalize on the werewolf trend, someone ought to have mentioned to them that the success of New Moon had less to do with the silly CGI wolf creatures and more to do with the seven ripped and shirtless boys they were BEFORE the transformation. Just as the new vampire archetype is sexy and soulful (SORRY DAYBREAKERS), the modern werewolf NEEDS to be hot. Benicio del Toro may very well bring a depth of understanding to the role that we've never seen before, but he looks like an armpit, and I just don't want my wolfmen looking like Dollhouse Dude. Which brings me to the larger issue: Does EVERY movie need to have a hot boy in it to get me to see it? It doesn't hurt. But I'm not COMPLETELY superficial. For instance, I don't need to see Zac Efron replace Gabourey Sidibe in Precious (wait... on second thought... I would DEFINITELY pay to see that). But I think he HURT Me & Orson Welles. Nobody took it seriously enough. But for a horror movie, a teen movie, or a date movie, YOU NEED HOT GUYS (and girls too, I suppose). And this movie WILL suffer for not having a hot Taylor-esque wolfboy. 



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