"She's not the kind of person who would lie – she would just walk away and not answer the question. So yes, I'm very concerned. Our sex life has dramatically changed recently.... I'm not even kidding, my wife – OK, I'm gonna get crass here – but we're barely having sex because I'm scared that she's gonna have a baby. That's the level our marriage is on right now. My wife has me debating cutting off my nuts." – noted TV douche Spencer Pratt to the New York Post, after being asked if wife Heidi might trick him into siring a baby by saying she was on the pill.