Posted by: Tom G contact

Subo's learning difficulties... now apparent

What's that!? Susan Boyle has learning problems... never!

So, The big-faced Scottish pie-slayer known as Susan Boyle is in the States to promote her first single, a cover of The Rolling Stones' Wild Horses which she'll be performing on America's Got Talent this week.

Wild accusation here, but I have a sneaking suspicion that her management might not have her best interests at heart... stay with me and look at the facts.

Firstly the idea that she'll be singing "wild wild horses, couldn't drag me away...." When Mick Jagger sings it, there's a poignancy to it. When Subo sings it, there's a bunch of fearful fucking horses who are hoping it's not an actual challenge.

A bloody dredger couldn't drag her away.

Secondly, if you were looking after her best interests, would you decide that the best thing to do with her when she lands in America is stick her on the Dumbo ride at shitting Disneyland!?!

"Press conference?"

"Nah... How about a talk show?"

"Hmmm, nah...."

"Fine let's just jam her into a children's ride at a theme park and watch her spew on herself, that'll be kickass."

Good luck lady... you'll need it.

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