Because she can't. When the party-picture perennial recently took time out of her busy tuxedo-buying schedule to pen a few words for the upcoming coffee-table book Indochine: Stories, Shaken and Stirred, her 28-year-long sabbatical from writing starts to make sense.
"I like Indochine," she, um, typed, "despite the fact that the kind of food they serve is the kind that people share, which is something I always avoid. I do not like to share my food. I would rather give someone a million dollars than a bite of my spring roll. I do not want to see someone else's chopsticks hovering over my plate. And it is my plate. So, I must really enjoy the atmosphere at Indochine, because I agree to eat in a place where people share food. The thing that I most like there are the dumplings. You're supposed to share them, but I do not. And when people say, 'Let's get some dunplings,' I say: 'Fine, let's get some, and I will also get some.'"
Now, to be fair, it was a difficult assignment. A 500-word blurb on a 25-year-old restaurant isn't easy, no matter how talented you are. But, eeeesh. That was just LAZY! And I'm a fan! I was the only person IN THE WORLD who bought her horrible, horrible, travesty of a kids book. So I sincerely WANT the old Fran back. But somehow I don't think we'll ever see the old gal again. She's gone for good.